Invitations

Relationships and friendships are all initiated by an invitation, no matter how big or small. Now, this notion confounds me. From a personal sense, the idea that I have willingly invited everyone, who has some sort of influence over me, into my life is daunting. This is primarily because they don’t always leave the most pleasant remains after they leave.

In this post I will be discussing three different forms of ‘invitations’. Firstly, friendship. Friendship, for me, is simply sharing and creating experiences with someone you find remotely interesting, and whose company you enjoy. However, more often than not, friendships turn into romance. The thought of letting someone be an influence in your life isn’t that scary, really. However, these relationships tend to blossom, and as time goes by this influence grows. Sometimes, almost to the point, where they are one of the primary causal factors in your life. When we accept a friendship, we are rarely considering this fact. It is accepted in the simplest of senses because we are unaware of what may possibly happen.

Secondly, a romantic relationship. For the feasibility, we are going to assume this relationship didn’t begin with a friendship. Now, these sorts of relationships are my personal favourite. More often than not, they’re incredibly simple, and often end with minimal damage. The simple start, and simple end are the sorts of relationships I find the nicest, but not necessarily the best. The idea of inviting someone into your life romantically, does not necessarily mean you have to be vulnerable, unlike a friendship. You are not obliged to share a great deal with them, or even confide in them. That being said, this isn’t essential in a friendship but tends to happen as the friendship flourishes – willingly or not. I am not implying vulnerability will never happen, it is not simply not a prerequisite, as it can be with some friendships.

Lastly, in a sexual manner. This notion interests me the most. I’m primarily referring to one night stands, and hookups. For me, this illustrates the humans need for connection (or simply an outlet for our sexual needs). Finding comfort in the arms of a stranger at 2AM is a common occurrence, and often doesn’t lead to much more. Possibly, an exchange of numbers and a repeat of the night’s events. Personally, I’m not one for random hookups that last a night, I prefer getting to know someone, talking with them, and seeing how things progress. For me, one night stands, create an ideology that we need to repress our emotional feelings and simply use sex as an outlet. In my opinion, they’re the product of heartbreaks and broken trust. That being said, each to his/her own.

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Stolen Dance

This post is not related to the series, and I promise I’ll finish it, I really will. This is far more interesting though, and is currently occuping 120% of my brain. This post will once again be about relationships, and once again be about my relationships. I’ll start from the unpleasant and move onto the lovely.

As you can probably guess, the unpleasant part is directed at my last relationships, the fragments of which I am still piecing together. I feel as though we’ve finally reached some sort of resolution, of not being friends. The primary reason behind this is because of all our unresolved shit, to put it bluntly. It’s far too exhausting to list all of the, and even more exhausting to work through each one individually. Scanners_headexplodeIn addition, the wounds are too fresh. I have reached the conclusion it is unhealthy (not to say it’s impossible) for ex’s to be friends straight after a breakup. This slightly angers me, but I know it’s for the best. I’m just sick of always having to consider someone else’s feelings, for once I’d just like it to be simple and selfish in a sense.

Now, moving onto the present. As previously discussed in ‘The Orgasm After’, I am currently seeing someone else who also happens to know my ex. Normally, I would not do anything like this because firstly, I would hate it if it ever happened to me, and secondly I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Look at me now. I have decided that it’s time to just relax, and stop putting everyone else’s feelings in front of my own. This ‘fling’ is really nice, and I’m starting to like the person quite a bit. 

This person is fantastic. This whole thing is fantastic. It’s all going great. The only thing I’m concerned about is that it’s still too soon after the breakup. The timing is not ideal. I don’t want to get involved in anything without being completely over my previous relationship, and having a bit of time to be single. Basically, I just want to reach the point where I’m okay being by myself, which is definitely coming. I am starting to like this person quite a bit. It just feels so normal and right, I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not and I don’t think she does either. Not to mention, the sex is fucking fantastic. She’s just amazing. Everything from her differently coloured eyes, to her ability to reason and her interesting opinions. However, what I like most is the ease with which we communicate, communication is definitely one of the key aspects in a relationship and I feel as though we have really nailed it on the head. We’ve decided to remain open and see other people, which is a great idea. I’m not ready to be in a monogamous relationship, even if feelings are starting to develop. I’ve been in a relationships for over three years, it’s time to just enjoy being single. There are also other people, one in particular that I would really like to give it a shot with, so we’ll see how it all goes. Also, any thoughts on this situation will be much appreciated, cheers!