We are always told that when we have feelings for someone, we’re not allowed to have any doubts. Essentially, we are being asked if we see a long-term future with this person. In my opinion, society and the media should be equally blamed for this delusion. In this post, I will be discussing the unrealistic expectations placed on relationships due to the media and society.
The media is saturated with unrealistic ‘rom-coms’. The whole ‘boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy marries girl’ is repeated time, after time. Some attempt to move beyond this stereotypical depiction of relationships has been made, and we have ourselves to commend for that. The mere phrasing of ‘boy meets girl, etc.’ illustrates the sexist views embedded in our society, views that constantly prefer men (even subtly) and depict men with the power and control. This influences the ideologies within society. Men are seen as having to make the first move. God forbid, a woman ever puts herself out there. It simply isn’t right, right?
In addition, the idea of finding ‘the one’, is something I find ridiculous. Romantic comedies generally involve a climatic relationship between two individuals (usually heterosexual; yet another underlying ideology embedded in both society, and the media, that we are fortunately moving away from). The result of this, usually, brief encounter is generally a long term relationship. More often than not, marriage. This concept is something I do not agree on. The media (and society as an associate) are implying that all relationships must have some sort of definite finish.
Now, this relates back to my original statement about uncertainty within relationships. In my opinion, no pressure should be placed on the future within a relationship. Similar to my opinion on open relationships (refer to: Open Relationships), I believe it is unfair to put any expectations on your partner. Trying to secure a future together is a simple method of soothing our own uncertainties, and providing us with something concrete. Not only is this selfish, but highly unhealthy for a relationship. Call me idealistic, but I believe relationships should merely be ‘in the moment’. Sure, this might not suit everyone, but I believe by eliminating ‘toxic’ aspects of relationships, such as pressure in regards to the future, and monogamy, the raw essence of a ‘good relationship’ is left. Aspects such as trust are set to flourish, and both individuals are in a low-pressure environment, where they can blossom and be their true selves. I would love to hear from anyone that has any opinions on this controversial matter.