In this post I’m going to be discussing the notion of forgiving and forgetting. What does it mean? Can it be achieved? If so, how easily? What other factors contribute to this?
However, I’ve made my bed, now I’ve just got to find the best possible way of accepting and coping with it, hence the notion of forgiveness. This is a topic that I’m highly conflicted about, and I feel as though it goes hand-in-hand with trust. I believe trust is the most important basis of any relationship.
I trust you is better than I love you, because you can’t always trust the one you love, but you can always love the one you trust. – Frank Ocean
That quote encompasses the importance I place on trust, and honesty within a relationship. The question is, how does this level of trust get built? Why is it so easy to destroy? To me, this comes down to vulnerability. After all, we are all vulnerable. We are all scared, to some extent, of being hurt by someone else. Where this comes from, I don’t know. It’s simply that some people hide it better than others. In my case, I find it incredibly easy to share factual information which may come off as confiding in someone. When it comes to the raw emotions though, it takes someone I truly trust to bring those out. Fortunately, I have met people like that in my life, and I’m glad for that. On the negative side, none of them have stayed – not that it’s their fault or mine, it was good while it lasted.
Basically, the reason I have emphasised trust is because I don’t believe you can forgive, or forget without trusting the person completely. Saying this, I am assuming a relationship will still be maintained, which I think is always the case. If you didn’t want a relationship, why bother processing all the emotional bullshit related to ‘forgiving and forgetting’? Regardless, trust in the other person needs to be present, whether it is an illusion or real. Trust is the basis of all relationships, and without it we wouldn’t be able to function normally in society.