Business Time

Time to take a break from all the relationship talk, and move onto something far more raunchy, and definitely more interesting: sex. If you have read previous posts on this blog, you will understand that sex is an important part of my life, and I believe it should be given a lot more value on an emotional level. 

For me, sex is more than just the act itself, it provides definition and solidifies your feelings towards someone. A theory that I have held consistent throughout my life, is that as soon as the sex starts failing the relationship is bound to go downhill. Having said that, this decline in the quality of the relationship works at it’s own pace, taking up to years to complete it’s journey. Sex is an important part of any relationship. Without sex, it’s basically a close friendship with some added intimacy. However, as soon as sex becomes a chore and is no longer a regular occurrence, warning bells should be flashing. I’m not saying that one night of being ‘too tired’ is a reason to question the relationship, however if this behaviour continues it may be a sign that your relationship is failing. 

What makes sex so significant? Coming from my experience in monogamous relationships, sex is something you want to share with one person. Without this level of intimacy, other forms of affinity gradually begin to wear away. This decline in libido could be due to various causes. You might not be attracted to your partner in a sexual manner anymore, it may be due to a decline in understand, or simply due to sickness. It’s a given that the amount of sex declines as the relationship matures, possibly due to the fact that it is no longer ‘new’, however as soon as the quality decreases one should question the authenticity of their relationship. I would be really interested to hear thoughts on this topic. How much importance do you place on sex? Is it essential in a relationship? It’s fairly obvious where I stand, but I’d love to know what you think.

 

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4 thoughts on “Business Time

  1. Sex is very important to me and plays a huge part in having a healthy relationship. Sex to me means that you have a deep connection with the person you give yourself to and that you willingly give that person a part of you.

    I was just talking to a friend earlier about this same subject and about how to change things and/or spice things up in the bed room. To me, if you are with a person for a long period of time they can’t just become “unattractive” . You have to learn to look at them in new lights. And if the sex is drying up don’t be afraid to let your partner know. Be open and honest. What harm can it do? If you don’t that’s what makes things go downhill quickly and you look at them that way.

  2. In the past I think that I would have largely agreed with you about sex, although I have also enjoyed sex with people who were and remained friends, nothing more. Even in those cases, sex was a cement that solidified the relationship and was an intimate act, a form of trust.

    Sex is extremely important to me, and had you asked me four years ago, I would have told you that I would not be able to maintain a relationship without a good sex life. However, my wife has some issues (both illness related and emotional) and for a year our sex life was non-existent. During that time I had to think long and hard about what it meant to be in a relationship with someone, and whether sex was a make or break part of it. In the end, although I really, really missed having sex with her and in certain ways was discontent with the lack of physical intimacy, my love for her won out and I stayed. Interestingly, after a ‘dry’ year, she was able to enjoy sex again to some extent. We do not have sex frequently, but it’s starting to happen again.

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